Ladies and gentlemen on the Stateside, tomorrow for you is Election Day. I’ve already cast my ballot and mailed it across the Pacific about a month ago. In the words of esteemed musician P. Diddy, “Vote or die.” Seriously, if you don’t vote, your right to validly complain about or praise a candidate dies. It dies in a blazing fire of apathy and disregard. There is no peaceful death for an uncast ballot.
In the meantime, I’ve been largely ignoring the election hype. I’m good at it, too. It wasn’t until this morning when I was Facebook chatting with my dad and we were both tinkering with a electoral collage on the Fox News website (cable news haters to the left) that I realized I missed the election hype. Just a little, tiny bit.
I remember during 2000 election when my parents said my brother and I could stay up all night and watch the election coverage. Being the smart parents they were (are), they knew my brother and I would conk out halfway through the exclusive Hannity and Colmes coverage. I remember the next day at school, when the teachers allowed us to watch TV all day because of the Florida vote controversy. I thought it was the dandiest thing ever. My teachers even had to tell me to stop staring at the television during class. It wasn’t the fact that it was television, it was the fact that it was politics. And it was on during class.
So, readers, this is your official election hype from Jeju Island, South Korea. Get out and vote. Do it for America, do it for yourself, do it for that sticker swag they give you after voting.
PS- Gents, ladies love a man with sticker swag.