Letting go.

June 28th, 2012

I’ve never been good at letting go. I cried as I drove away from my college campus at graduation and I barely made it out of my final Anglican mass for the next year without tears. I asked my brother when he would receive his next paycheck and he said “Next Thursday.” I won’t be here next Thursday, I’ll be in South Korea.

Don’t get me wrong: I’m very, very excited about my approaching year in South Korea.

Do You Know South Korea? from David Dutton on Vimeo.

But I’m also anxious and unsure.

What if I’m not a good teacher?

What if I can’t adapt like I thought?

What if I have more bad days than good ones?

Despite my fears and my reluctance, I’m at an odd sense of peace. Of course,  Philippians 4:7 tells us that Christ gives us the peace that “passes all understanding.” As July 3rd creeps closer and closer, I know that everything will be okay. Still, I’m a naturally nervous person. I’m an INTJ with an affinity for nail-biting and anxiety.

I’ll be growing up this year. I’ll be growing up in a different kind of south. I’ll see you in there.

-Sarah

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10 thoughts on “Letting go.

  1. Hey Girl!!!! You are so brave to take this step. It has to be very scary for you. I know you will do well and you will enjoy yourself. Maybe some homesickness of course but that too shall pass. You will have experiences you will talk about for the rest of your life. Can’t wait to read on your blog while you are on your adventure. Big hugs girl, you will do great!!!!!

    • Thanks Michelle! I know moving abroad won’t be without difficulties, but I’m trusting the Lord in all things. I’m looking forward to going abroad very, very soon!

  2. Sarah,

    This is Pastor Shannon from Mackville UMC. I think what you are experiencing is natural. Regardless of who we are or are personality make-up, stepping out in faith can be scary and nervous. Are we good enough? Are we strong enough? What if I don’t do well? (To let you in on a little secret … pastors even feel these same anxieties.)

    The great news is you are not going to South Korea alone. Sure, you will have other scholars with you, but you’ll have a greater presence with you. The Holy Spirit is already in South Korea preparing your school for your arrival and preparing your students to meet with you. Even more, the Spirit is at work shaping you into the teacher God has called you to be.

    Prayers go with you as you travel and as you serve. If there is anything we can do to support you, please let us know.

    Peace,

    Shannon

    • Pastor Shannon,

      Thanks so much for your comment and encouragement! I’ve witnessed so many “signs” this week and I know it’s Our Lord letting me know that He’s already doing a good work in South Korea. Though this isn’t a mission trip (it’s through the US government, after all), I hope to change my students for the better through my Christian faith and witness. Please pray that our whole group (80 total) will arrive safely and work for the greater good throughout the next year.

      Pax.

  3. It’s terrifying, isn’t it? I thought I’d gotten over all my fears, only to slip again these past couple days. Just remember that you won’t be alone over there! We’re all in the same boat, and we’ll all support each other. 🙂

    • That’s part of the encouragement, too! We won’t be alone and we’ll all be able to share our fears and joys. I can’t wait! See you soon!

  4. You can do it Sarah! You are not going in your own strength, but in the strength of the Lord. Trust and rest in knowing that He will provide you with all that you need 🙂 Praying for you over at Ruby for Women!! Blessings, hugs, and prayers!

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